Decades After Foster Care, I Found My Long-Lost Brother
“If I’d stayed, I could have protected him. That’s what I believed. Maybe he believed that, too.”
I run in a circle in a wooded place. Run with the others, yoked together, lumbering in darkness, moving faster and faster, circling, stumbling, and driven, flying around and around in an endless loop. A monster slithers alongside, chasing us. Body of a snake with the head of a bear, roaring and raging with remorse and loss, remembrance and longing and fear—sheer animal terror.
I move faster. Gallop away. Leave the circle behind; abandon my spot, afraid the ancient animal after us will get me, bite me, and I’ll fall down, and forget, and the circle will dissolve forever and ever.
I only want to know if you’re happy and well.
Let’s meet at noon for coffee and go from there.
I’m here in the corner. Alone.
Almost there.
I’m inside
Here I am, give me money, I need a new transmission, more gas, a co-signature on my lease
belonging
thank you for caring what happened to me.
I love you, I’m so glad I found you, take care of yourself
No, I haven’t found him yet.
We know you haveTell him to get in touch with uswe know him, we R his real sisters, we never left.
I don’t know what U R talking about. I haven’t found him yet
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After a few moments of fawning and cooing, I interjected from outside the circle with a shy raised hand: “Hi, I’m the mom.”