My Brother Died from a Heroin Overdose
I leaned over the casket with tears streaming down my face. They dripped onto my brother’s body, his hands, my hands.
Ashley are you related to andrew bethard ? Can you please contact me at the sandusky police department tomorrow between 6a and 6p . . . [phone number redacted] . . . I'm trying to get ahold of a family member related to andrew bethard . . . my name is ofc [name redacted] badge # [redacted] . . . i know this is an odd way to communicate but seemed easiest at the moment
Hi [name redacted], he is my brother. Can you tell me if he is okay? I have been trying to reach him for over 24 hours.
can you call me on my cellphone,Maybe it’s not that. Maybe. What if? Could he be okay? Let him be okay.
Yes, I am Andrew’s sister. I have been trying to reach him for over 24 hours
Is he okay?
Is he alive?
He was found—
An OD,
So my parents don’t know?
I’m sure,
All the other times
What’s going on,
Just tell me,
Are you sitting down?
No, just tell me,
Andrew is dead,
Bitches be tripping,
Ashley Bethard’s writing has been published in The Rumpus, PANK Magazine, Hobart, Fanzine and others. She is the 2017 recipient of the Ohioana Walter Rumsey Marvin Grant, and her winning essay “Of Blood” was published in the Fall 2017 issue of Ohioana Quarterly. She has an MFA in Creative Writing from Ashland University. Currently she lives in Dayton, Ohio, where she’s working on her first book. She works in digital media, and was named to the Newspaper Association of America's "30 Under 30" list in 2016. Find her online at @ashleybethard and ashleybethard.com.
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Closed Casket: One Family’s Story of Suicide
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My connections to the country and its people, my family, didn’t require control or even words. Touch, color, and togetherness were enough.