Taylor Hahn Writes Comedy From a Place of Tension

Since meet-cutes are a classic trope of romantic comedies, do I have a meet-cute for you. More than a decade ago, author Taylor Hahn and I met at a roommate speed-dating event for teachers, where we were prompted to answer questions like “Do you prescribe to the ‘if it’s yellow keep it mellow’ philosophy of flushing toilets?” and “Cats or dogs or gerbils or cockatoos?” I distinctly remember how drawn I was to Hahn’s upbeat personality and how we both laughed about the pee question. I didn’t know it then, but Hahn and I also shared a love of writing. Though our paths diverged after teaching—I went to graduate school for creative writing and she went to law school—I am ecstatic to find they have converged once again as novelists.

The Lifestyle, Hahn’s hilarious, sexy, full-hearted debut novel, is out now. Its protagonist, Georgina Wagman, thinks she has life figured out. Great career? Check. Great friends? Check. Great marriage? Check. That is, until she finds her husband cheating on her with one of their employees at the law firm where they both work. But headstrong Georgina will not allow this incident to destroy her perfect life. She decides that if her husband is going to sleep around, he’ll do it on her terms—they’ll become swingers. From a moment of crisis comes a story about Georgina joining “the lifestyle,” finding newfound freedom in her sexual and personal lives, and realizing that maybe, she doesn’t have to be “perfect” after all.

Over Zoom, Hahn and I discussed the inspiration for The Lifestyle, law school as her MFA, and the Catapult class that helped form her novel. Our conversation has been edited and condensed for clarity.

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Crystal Hana Kim: The Lifestyle begins with Georgina, a lawyer at a big firm in New York City, walking in on her husband cheating. Interestingly, Georgina’s decision isn’t to suggest couples therapy or divorce, but swinging. How did you come up with that premise?

Taylor Hahn: I had just read an interview that you gave in Catapult. You talked about starting writing from a place of tension versus coming up with a plot. It really stuck with me because I had been writing this awful 1950s missing-girl thriller, which I knew I needed to put aside. But I still wanted to write a novel, so I was searching for inspiration with your words in the back of my head. Then, I heard someone talking about swinging at a party, and I thought, That is a place of great tension. There’s so much that could happen! Love, sex, jealousy, self-discovery, and it could be really funny.

Once I started digging into it, I thought a lot about why couples swing. Couples choose it to help their relationship, not hurt their relationship. From there, I dreamed of this character whose marriage is in a crisis and she thinks swinging will save it. As I started researching, I became more motivated to tell a story of a woman who had never given herself the opportunity to explore what she wants, either in the bedroom or outside of it. Being in this new environment allows her to discover the pleasure-seeking side of herself with zero shame.

When the rules of marriage aren’t working for her anymore, she changes them.

CHK: I love that you bring up shame and exploration because your novel is so much about women owning their sexual desires. It’s sex-positive and feminist. Specifically for Georgina, swinging brings a sense of empowerment and makes her realize what’s missing in her life.

TH: Yes, her rewarding experience in the lifestyle causes her to want more [from] her life in general. Every character in the book engages with the lifestyle differently, and while it doesn’t work out for them the way they initially intended, it does change their life in a positive way. Georgina has an opportunity to feel good in her body and explore her sexuality with other characters supporting her instead of judging her. I think a lot of people still consider swinging to be the butt of a joke, like keys in a bowl 1970s-style. I wanted to subvert that because a lot of couples make this decision, and it really works for them. When I started researching, I learned that divorce among couples in the lifestyle is significantly lower than among monogamous couples. It was important to me to show respect for this community by making Georgina’s journey a very positive one.

CHK: Is “the lifestyle” synonymous with swinging?

TH: “Being in the lifestyle” is how couples who engage sexually with other people identify. It’s more encompassing and positive. As one character in the book puts it, swinging is “very seventies.” But yes, same concept.

CHK: Your novel is also a retelling of Jane Austen’s Emma. How did that come about?

TH: Through the main character. At the beginning of the novel, Georgina believes she has life totally figured out. Her parents had gotten a divorce and she thinks, That’s not going to happen to me. I know better. So she marries the man that she considers to be a safe, smart choice. In that way, she’s conceited and headstrong. She’s unwilling to admit her faults. She thinks she knows how to fix everyone else’s life, but really, it’s her own life that needs fixing. Those traits are very similar to Jane Austen’s iconic character, Emma Woodhouse. But Emma is adorable, and we love her. We want to protect her, we want her to be happy. That’s really hard to do as a writer, because readers get turned off by a character who thinks she knows everything, just like [we do] in life. So I looked to Emma as a good craft example of how to write a character like that.

Also, I love Jane Austen because of her subtle, playful rejection of the rules of marriage. She created heroines who didn’t want to marry, or who refused to engage in the marriage game. Georgina is doing the same thing. When the rules of marriage aren’t working for her anymore, she changes them.

CHK: One thing I loved about Georgina is how she treats Meredith, the junior associate she catches her husband, Nathan, with. I appreciated how you didn’t pit the women against each other. How did that relationship storyline come about?

TH: That was a very conscious choice. Meredith is a young first-year associate. This is an office environment. Nathan is ten years older than her, and he was her boss. This is on him. I wanted to make that extremely clear instead of having Meredith’s career get derailed while Nathan moves on scot-free, no consequences.

CHK: Right, which is what often happens in real life.

TH: Yeah. I wanted to subvert that unfortunate reality and show a different path in which Georgina tries to help Meredith heal from this situation instead of blaming her for it.

CHK: While reading, I kept thinking, I’m having so much fun. Your novel is full of humor and love and warmth. Did you always want your book to be a comedy?

TH: That felt natural to the story because swingers’ parties are supposed to be fun. The characters don’t just go to a sex party; they go to a sex party that has naked dancing and role-playing and treasure chests in the closet. They don’t just go to a sex club; they go to a sex club that has an indoor hot tub and themed rooms.

CHK: This is also a book about friendship, with an ensemble cast. It’s not only Georgina and Nathan who join the lifestyle—Georgina’s friends from law school and their respective partners join too. Since there are six people involved, a lot of chaos and high jinks ensue.

TH: Going to a sex party with your best friend could be awkward. If you didn’t look at that person in a sexual way and then suddenly you’re naked together, that could inspire a funny, cringeworthy moment, which is great for writing. I made a long list of characters’ wants and needs that might lead them to join the lifestyle, then chose the ones with the most variety and conflict. One character doesn’t feel her husband sees her as a sexual woman anymore, and she wants to reclaim that side of herself. Another character is only doing it because his partner wants him to. That created interesting issues of consent. The characters do make a pact that they’re not going to sleep with each other, but of course, when you make a pact in writing, it’s always broken. Because that just makes for a good book.

When you make a pact in writing, it’s always broken. Because that just makes for a good book.

CHK: Thinking about craft a little more, for each character, there’s an arc or revelation by the end of the novel. For six characters, that’s a lot to hold in your mind as a writer. How did you keep track of all these storylines?

TH: I had a different piece of paper printed out for every character, and I wrote down every scene they were in and how their story moved forward in each scene. Then when I was revising, I would exclusively read the scenes of a particular character, in order, without reading the rest of the novel. By the end, each character has their own story.

CHK: I love that even someone like Meredith, who maybe in a shallower book would just be the woman in the opening cheating scene, has her own arc. Switching gears, I wanted to talk about your life as a lawyer. There are so many specific details about lawyer life—mentions of structured finance and associates and whatnot—which I found fun since I’m so unfamiliar with that world. Like the characters in your novel, you are also a lawyer. Beyond the details, does your lawyer life influence your writing in other ways?

TH: I like to say that law school was my MFA because I always liked to write, but I didn’t have any skill. I distinctly remember learning in law school what the passive voice was. Additionally, law school teaches you to write with reason. You’re always trying to argue something. I think that’s not dissimilar from fiction. You’re always trying to argue a case for your characters. Law school taught me to write with focus, cutting out unnecessary words, ordering my paragraphs in a way that flows, choosing a thesis and sticking to it. It made me a much better writer, and I absolutely, 100 percent do not think I would have been able to write a novel without that experience.

CHK: You were a teacher before, and then a lawyer, and now you’re a published author. I’m curious about your journey to becoming a published author because it is “atypical” in some ways.

TH: I always did want to pursue writing in college, and I was briefly a screenwriting major, but I was the only girl and it made me feel very self-conscious. I had also never seen the Star Wars movies, so I felt like I was the worst film student ever! And I was very afraid to put myself out there and be vulnerable. It was easier for me to just not pursue that dream than [to] pursue it and fail. So instead, I went with careers that I thought were super practical and responsible—but of course, I never forgot about what I truly loved. When I became an attorney at a big firm, like Georgina, I was working all the time. I needed a creative outlet, so I started taking classes at the Center for Fiction and Sackett Street and Catapult.

Once The Lifestyle premise came into my mind, I couldn’t let the idea go, and that’s how I knew it was the one. I wrote in my free time for about three years. I can’t overstate how hard it was. It was hard to find the time—I tried writing before work and after work, but mostly I would write all weekend. I pretty much had no social life, but I felt like I had to try because I’d be really disappointed in myself if I never gave it a real shot. And I had a lot of help along the way—I had you. You were my main inspiration. You taught me how to do it. You showed me it was possible if I worked hard enough. I had amazing Catapult teachers that also really helped me, like Chelsea Bieker. Without my friends and mentors, this book would not exist.

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