Sep 15, 2020
Writing a Book About Asexuality Taught Me to Look for a Fate Beyond Numbers
I learned to reevaluate the meaning of ‘normal’ in relationships, and also my habit of reflexively turning to data.
How I Learned to Tell Signal from Noise and Appreciate Calm
It can be easy to confuse real emotion with the shiny drama enfolding it. Sometimes grand gestures are signs of grand feeling—sometimes they’re not.
Nov 19, 2018
On Being Young, Scrappy, and (Sometimes) Satisfied
Remain forever hungry, or enjoy the tried-and-true? Sometimes, I learned, it’s okay to double down on the life you have.
Aug 13, 2018
How We Create Personal Myths, and Why They Matter
My parental separation was vastly less traumatic than what is happening to children at the border. But this narrative lives inside me.
Jul 18, 2018
How I Learned to Reconcile the Distance Between Experience and Memory
As my mother loses the ability to remember, I find myself playing with my own memory.
Jun 12, 2018
The Downside of Radical Honesty
The problem with radical honesty is that we are not transparent to ourselves—we are always biased, and so is the feedback we provide.
Mar 07, 2018
Is Your Streak About to End? The False Belief That Can Drive Both Gambling and Anxiety
Many of us subconsciously believe there is only so much good allotted to us—so, when something good happens, watch out.
Feb 14, 2018
The Beauty Myth: What Keeps Us From Seeing Ourselves Clearly?
“What I look like” is not a static picture cut out and placed in different environments, but one that changes again and again.
Jan 16, 2018
No Best Friend, But Better Off
Friendship is not about going down a list with some people always first, others second and third. Every friendship is unique.
Dec 12, 2017
Can Desire or Love Be Predicted?
Data versus the real world: what compatibility algorithms can’t tell you.
Nov 15, 2017
How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Asexuality
“Though desire for sex is considered one of our four primal drives, I lack such a desire almost completely.”
Oct 12, 2017
Is It Possible to Truly Know Yourself? (Probably Not—and That’s Okay.)
There is opportunity in forcibly rewriting a story, in trying out identities that might not feel true at first.
Jul 18, 2017
How an Abundance of Fitness Data Keeps Me From Obsessing Over a Single Number
It is the act of recording all this data that has helped me step away from identifying so strongly with it.
Jun 14, 2017
Genetic Testing Can Tell You a Lot About Yourself—But What If You Don’t Want to Know?
I wanted the most information possible and thought I had nothing to fear. Then my mother began to lose her memory.
May 08, 2017
How I Learned to Trust in Therapy—Even Without Homework
It was the form of therapy I feared that changed me for the better.
Apr 10, 2017
Stay or Go? or, The Case Against Playing it Safe
My lesson should have been “choose risk”—change didn’t always mean closing a door.
Mar 07, 2017
Why I No Longer Make Predictions
I believed I could be protected from what lay ahead as long as I saw what was coming.
Jan 03, 2017
